In continuation with my discussion on the psychology of having 4C Hair, yes the psychology, and how we honestly feel about it let’s discuss the big chop. To be honest, since we’re speaking honestly, I wish I had a blog to read when I cut my permed hair off and was faced with my natural hair. Not knowing how to style it, having hardly any Youtube videos to watch, and no one around me had any advice outside of getting my hair straighten was frustrating.
So if you’re reading this and you just big chopped and thinking about getting that “creamy crack” again… reconsider. If you thought, “Oh let me big chop so I can wear my hair like Kelis, Tracey Ellis Ross, and the black folks in the Target or GAP ads” you may have a very rude awakening.
|Tracey Ellis Ross: Source|
|Gap Ad: Source|
SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
Stop running away from what your hair truly is… it’s kinky, it’s coily, and it’s beautiful. If you believe that you are a truly attractive human being, then that would include the hair growing out of your scalp as well. Yes we all have things about ourselves that we can’t stand but the hair is a woman’s crown and glory, right? That’s what I always heard. If this statement is true, we should NOT be ashamed, embarrassed, or annoyed with the very thing to make us regal. Can I get an Amen, somebody?! *waves church hand*
What is it about your hair that you dislike?
This may be a great question to ask yourself after doing the big chop. We go through some serious (and series of ) emotions and withdraws when RETURNING (not going) natural. Because of the time away from the natural state, your hair will be foreign to you. But what is it exactly that you don’t like about your hair? The texture? Dryness? What?!
Why don’t you like THAT thing about your hair?
Was it something that someone said to you recently or in your childhood? For me, it was in my childhood that family members would call me “nappy” or “knotty” even though I had a head full of beautiful thick hair. Those words made me feel ashamed of it and in my adult life I carried that shame. Thankfully, I recognized it for what it was and was able to heal.
Do you feel comfortable wearing it in its natural state?
No twistouts, blowouts, bantu knot outs, or anything. Just as it is. This would be a great exercise for you to really get comfortable with your hair. I did this exercise once because I was running late; it wasn’t intentional. It was a twistout I didn’t have time to re-twist and shockingly I received the most compliments on that day compared to days I had a fresh twistout. It seemed like the more it reverted back to its natural state the more attractive my hair looked on me. Try it out for yourself!
At the end of the day, don’t get so easily discouraged. You won’t figure it all out in the first week, month, or year. If you’re new to the natural hair life give yourself a complete year after doing the big chop. It helps to seek out other blogs and youtube channels with your hair texture for ideas or tips. Understand this, your hair is actually very beautiful on you. Be patient with it. Learn it. Embrace it. The more you fight it, the more it fights you back.
Peace and Love